Todays event got me thinking!

About mentors and mentoring! Having 3 coworkers sitting around me listening and learning made me think real hard about that thing mentoring! I did everything right instinctively into slightest detail almost anticipading all questions in advance. Not from the coworkers but from the CEOs and marketmanagers now!

Had especially one call with a CEO of an international company who every time tries to make things as hard for me as he can and afterwards I was going through every detail of the conversation in my mind and found to my surprise that nothing at all had been that hard. It went smoooooooothly and I had all the answers not matter how hard he even tried to test me! That guy always tries to take all these calls to it’s ultimate test to make out how serious you are and I can understand he’s not taking any bullshit! But this time it was as if I knew in advance what he had! (Picked up every tell and sign he put out there) And it felt great! The same thing I feel every time Pinkdog or Blagger mentoring me at the pokertable so my biggest question is

Why do we perform our best when mentoring someone or being mentored?

It can’t be insecurity because I really don’t feel insecure in my work on the contrary I do feel very secure in my line of business and know I’m good at what I do! I have the paycheck and stats to prove it! So why then? Do we really need to be monitored to perform our best and why isn’t it enough monitoring ourself?

Could it be sloppyness? We don’t think we need to be coaching and mentoring ourself anymore? Could it have come to this that it isn’t enough to compete with ourself anymore?

If so I think it’s a shame that it has come this point that we sometimes forget to stop and think of our own need of mentoring! We are so busy thinking of what others think of us we forget to tend to ourself

Could it be so?

I’m not preaching selfishness here! We shouldn’t skip helping others who need help at all! It’s great to be needed and you learn more by mentoring others! I’m just saying we shouldn’t forget to take a moment to ourself and just breathe, mentoring ourself a little bit

I made the sell by the way to that CEO!

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7 Responses to “Todays event got me thinking!”

  1. svcmgr Says:

    Net,
    Congrats on the sale! I am sure you impressed him, or her.

    “Why do we perform our best when mentoring someone or being mentored?”

    In my opinion, it has to do with self evaluation and the need to please those who are important to you, not just yourself.
    When involving others into the mentoring process, you not only want to be pleased with yourself, you also want the others to be pleased. This added “outside influence” raises your commitment to be the best you can be.
    Self evaluation should and could be done. But, as Dog has mentioned in other posts, if you are not totally honest with yourself, you won’t make as much progress. I think it is easier to “fool” yourself when there is no outside influence.
    You won’t get away with some of the crap you tell yourself (or, lie to yourself about) with others watching. So, I think mentoring or being mentored puts you on a little higher level because you realize others will also be judging you.
    There are people out there who can be brutally honest with themselves and be quite good at evaluating themselves, but, adding another perspective to everything by letting someone else in, opens a lot of unexplored areas in yourself that you may have never seen.
    I think it is extremely important to take time now and again and look at yourself. How can you be happy with yourself if you really don’t know who that is?
    But, you also need a few people in your life who you can also let in and help you by possibly showing you things about yourself you may not realize. I personally, have a hard time with that one. There are a VERY limitied number of people in my life that I let in like that.
    So, I guess in a long winded, convoluted way, I am saying being mentored or mentoring raises your performance because you are being watched and you want to please.
    What do you think?

  2. netsson Says:

    Good point! But could it really be that easy answer just to please and be aware of the judging? Maybe it could but it shouldn’t be!

    I mean why is it so hard to judge and please ourselves from time to time? shouldn’t that be of a higher priority than it is now?

    The strive to be at our best should always be priority one both mentally for ourselves and to others and that includes just pampering, mentoring our inner needs just once in a while! Don’t you think? That means no lying to yourself and as you say take a closer look at who we are and who we wanna be!

  3. svcmgr Says:

    Net,
    What has you asking this? Is it because you feel that you did a better sales job with other people watching or teaching than you think you would have done without them there?
    It sounds like your confidence was very high during this and it also sounds like you are attibuting that to the other people and not yourself.
    I think it is a combination of both. I don’t think your confidence level could have been raised to that point if it wasn’t high in the first place. How did it get high in the first place? By self evaluation and improvement.
    Why did it get higher with others around? Maybe there is a small clue in your last post (“I call them opponents and/or players, oboy am I competitive! I wonder what dr Freud would think?”).
    Maybe you challenged yourself because of the circumstance.
    I think I tend to be more self critical than others but thats just me. I agree also that striving to be ones best should be a priority.
    As a mater of fact, it sounds like you are doing it now by questioning this.

  4. dagopher Says:

    Why do we perform our best when mentoring someone or being mentored?

    I agree with Dave. You KNOW someone is watching you, or KNOW that you are showing your student what to do and it raises your awareness. It’s the same old nugget that crops up in these blogs – concentration.

    You will be more focused on concentrating on the job at hand if you are under scrutiny. When doing the exact same job without anyone else there, you will tend to that job to YOUR expected levels. Under scrutiny, you will do the job to what you think those watching would expect. It usually brings out the best in you – your concentration levels go way up in a bid to please those who are mentoring you, or to teach the ‘best practice’ to whomever you are mentoring.

    How do you carry this on when you are playing poker alone? Its hard to say really, but I would recommend getting some mentoring on a regualr basis, just to keep you on your toes. Through time, the game you play while under scrutiny will sub-conciously merge into your game when you play alone.

    After playing with Blags and the Dog in tow, I found myself questioning my moves when they were not there, asking myself “What would so and so do?” Everything that gets said in those discussion conferences seems to stck in your mind.

    Keep at the chats with the skype squad Netty. As many of us have said, ‘discussion and analysis are the best way to becoming a good poker player’. I know it’s worked for me. In fact, I’m needing a few refresher courses!

  5. netsson Says:

    Svcmgr: i’m not questioning my confidence or lack of it, i’m questioning if i’m sloppy or lazy when not watched rofl and in that case why?
    We do in sweden have a saying, we call them eye-servants!

    Yeah I know it’s stupid but then again we do jump around a maypole, singing hymns to little frogs and eat fermented Baltic herring too

    Swedes in a nutshell oooooooooh that’s material for at least a month of daily posts!

    But i do believe I have to be questioning myself a lot more than i do now!

    Gofer: I sincerely agree to everything you say there! The skypechats do indeed improve my pokermentality and you got a really good point in what you say about questioning what blags and dog would do in certain pokerhands! That thought never ever even popped up in my head. Gonna try that the next time i do play!

    Svcmgr and Gofer thanks you both really have some qualitythoughts there, you gave me something to think about and evaluate

  6. svcmgr Says:

    Sloppy and lazy when not watched huh?
    I doubt it, most of the time anyway. Just by the fact you are questioning it means it is something you are aware of.
    Anyway…what’s a “eye-servant”?
    You guys run around in wood shoes too don’t ya, oh thats Holland…lol

  7. netsson Says:

    An eye-servant? You know when a child act like an angel when watched and the minute you take your eyes off it gets into every trouble and becomes a hooligan! Same behaivour grown-up usually have in traffic when driving and sees a policecar in front that’s an eye-servant!

    And we do actually run around in wooden shoes or cloggers as they’re called, more about them in future blog!

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