The ancient Viking-game of Påk’ar

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The Vikingscripts found around the VikingVillage of Birka tells us a lot about the game of Påk’ar and how they came to life

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The great father of vikinggods Odin came to the great Viking-king Halvar Redbeard and said: Get my message out to the world that i have proclaimed the game of påk’ar as a way to Valhalla and a life after life as a demi-god beside me where the biggest reward is to rule the kingdom of all Games forever! Where there will be a neverending stream of the golden chips and sweet nectar of success if you learn the game well. I will lend you my army of Valkyrier who tend to your festivites you’ll set up in order to teach the world my wisdom of the game.So Redbeard set out with his army of påk’ar-trained men to give the rest of the world a challenge they named Verdandi Skuld of Påk’ar (Verdandi means the making of or that which is happening/becoming and skuld means necessity)

Eager to tell the world of all that his god have told him of what to come he and his men charged through the woods and over seas in search of true believers and followers to this glorious game.

They feared no danger when the mighty competitors put them all-in and in land after land they divided the competiton and conquered the opposition who preached of the danger of playing this game! The masses of followers grew and in folklore they became the påk’ar-gods beside Odin in Valhalla.

Halvar Redbeards grand-påk’ar man was a man called Beowulf and the story of his greatness is written down for us generations after to read about:

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Hrothgar King of Denmark is haunted by the troll Grendel who proclaims to be the greatest påk’ar-player of all times, killed hrotgars men at the table with monsterhand after monsterhand

 

The Hero Beowulf arrives to Hrothgars castle with his 12 mighty påk’ar-fighters and it is explained that he is a relative to the king and he has come to slay the troll!

 

And Beowulf continues the monster isn’t using any other weapon than bluffing and fishing and I will stand beyond that and fight honestly with gentlemenship, heads-up

 

At the party wich was the grandopening of the big tournament Beowulf is put to his test by Unferth another relative to the king who is trying to unease Beowulf with insults and see to that his mighty concentration is broken. Beowulf proudly answers him and hurries to get his sleep. When they all are asleep after the opening party Grendel attacks the sleeping men to get Beowulf to play him with no sleep, drunk and tired.

 

Beowulf goes to heads-up with the monster Grendel and in the heat of the game Grendel ventures all he got and an arm in a big pot wich he looses. In despair and ashamed Grendel went into the nearby lake to drown himself. The arm and the rest of Grendels belonging puts up at display on the wall in the castle, The decision to play a clean game and not to use any other weapon than his knowledge, patience and wisdom is now proven to be a lucky-draw because they found out that every trick in the books are known to Grendel and wouldn’t have worked

 

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The day after Beowulf is honoured by the king- It is obvious that Grendel couldn’t have survived this struggle. A bard minstrel a song where the mighty påk’ar-god Sigismund´s Adventures are tied together with this heroism of Beowulf

 

Again the festivities are echoing in the castle and again the fest is interrupted by horror when Grendels nameless mother shows up to claim her revenge for the shame her son was put through. She escapes when the big hero isn’t at the festivities but sleeping the ordeal of at a neighboring house.

 

 

Next day a troop of men went to the lake to finish off the haunting but only Beowulf dared to enter the house of Grendel and his nameless mother. In the house he found the mother with the corpse of Grendel and he challenged the mother to a heads-up where he used the magic of the cards to defeat her. The hero was celebrated according to the Nordic manors with golden bracelets and speeches and after the celebrations Beowulf and his men returned to the sea to return home

 

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After returning home Beowulf inherited the Geaternas crown and became their king. Unfortunately after the rumors of his big game many came to challenge him and due to lack of time as a worshiped god and mighty king he had to refuse them all except some sitngoes before bedtime. After some time a big dragon came to haunt him when he refused to play this monkey of a dragon as he called him. The dragon in rage went out and destroyed the kingdom and killed off one by one of the mighty påk’arplayer-men that had been playing in Beowulfs mighty team.

 

The King Beowulf is disgusted and in despair over this horrific doing paid the dragon a visit in his dungeon with a troop of his bravest men. Gets into a heads-up and it ended with no winner at all, it was a tie

 

The King asked his men who dares to join him in a sitngo with him and the dragon for a rematch and only one man answers yes I follow, yes I play and that was a young apprentice named Wiglaf.

 

When the game starts unfortunately Wiglaf panics when looking upon his pocket aces, don’t really know how to play them and folds, the dragon went allin after the flop, Beowulf calls with Big slick. Showdown of the dragons quads wounded Beowulf real bad but with final strength Beowulf shows the Royal straight flush after the river and that kills the dragon. Seriously wounded Beowulf get carried out of the dungeon by Wiglaf who prophecies that his people would carry on the påk’arfighting worldwide and Beowulf dies. He buries with all the treasures from the dragon facing the mighty casino of Monaco

And so ends the story of the Mighty Påk’arViking Beowulf

Our King! Our Hero

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So Vikings fear No-one on the contrary we seek out trouble! We divide and conquer with Odin, Beowulf and the mighty Valkyriers on our side!

Tremble with fear all of you who meets us – tremble with fear!

 

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4 Responses to “The ancient Viking-game of Påk’ar”

  1. netsson Says:

    OK Sorry guys now i forgot to tell you that the swedish letter å is pronounced as O (as in poker) or as au (as in caught)

  2. zitlips Says:

    Ok…i is afraid now…BUWAHAHAHAHAHAH !!!!!!….i always laugh when i is afraid

  3. Blagger Says:

    Very cute, but… I still reckon having commandments scorched onto yah ass is cuter.. lol

  4. netsson Says:

    Ohhh i don’t wanna tell publicly wich commandments i have tatooed to my ass!!

    That’s exclusive for specially invited only to read!

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